Many of you who read my blog are currently in an abusive relationship or were once. You understand the relentless fighting and gaslighting that a narcissist puts on your relationship. It’s exhausting and having hope for happiness seems like a far away dream that is unattainable and not real to this world.
I’m here to tell you that there is hope. The countless lessons that I have learned being around narcissistic people have given me the drive to share, counsel, and support those who are confused and in the thick of it. It’s so common to know someone who has a “difficult” person in the family or the workplace. I personally see it within seconds and as you learn the tactics you will too. I cover 13 tactics in my book:
The Chameleons Among Us, sold on Amazon.
Narcissists are just down right relentless. That has been my main qualifying word for them for awhile. When they give you false promises, you should say “ok show me.” They respond to action especially if you do the action. If you follow through with reporting them at work or even leaving them, they will respond. Bad things may escalate and hopefully it will be temporary. When they loose control of you or the situation then there is an extinguishing affect where they go quiet. The most important thing is to have a support person or group and fight for your peace and future happiness. Keep your reality true.
A lot of victims miss their abusers, because of their charm and charisma, maybe beauty and popularity. But all I have to say is, not everyone you lose is a loss. Once you are on the other side and you also recognize other abusers in the world, you have this moment of feeling free, at peace, and like a new chapter can begin. You will never be able to tell a narcissist that he’s wrong. The conversation will always be in a circle and never moving forward with any purpose. I recently asked a narcissist a question, I just got a bunch of questions asked of me. I handled it by waiting for an answer for MY question and I told him so. The strength I have against toxic people is enormous due to educating myself, but also the grace I’ve been given to be a fighter, from birth. I wish I could pour my strength into everyone of you who is suffering. We are given a certain personality at birth I believe and I do think some of us just aren’t equipped with the gift of strength to speak up and confront abusers. Confrontation is something many people fear and boy ole boy is dealing with a narcissist confrontational. And narcissists seek out the weak.
Think of this blog as your support group. I am here to educate and support victims and survivors. Just remember if you lose a narcissist, it just might not be the loss you think it is. It should be a new beginning for you. Think of it as a win! I want that for you, just like I have, a winning life.
Blessings to you all,
Ilaya
Shedding Light on the Narcissist 