As I get older I find myself enjoying an environment lacking stimulation especially before I go to bed. The world is full of stimuli and fewer people in this new generation enjoy quiet moments. It’s a sad shift that will have ramifications. When I see people having to have the TV on, music in their ears most of the day, or their cell phone within reach in order to look at it every few minutes, I know people are missing out on precious, quiet, self-reflecting, much needed time.
Do you have many times where you can calm down your mind? I know from experience that if you are living with a narcissist quiet moments are few and far between. One of my readers wants to hear more examples of life with a narcissist, so here I go. Can you get through a workday without having to talk to the narcissist? I know one story where a narcissist demanded for his wife to come to the phone during her work day. But, let me explain further, as he talked to the front office person he made sure he said, “Can I talk to my lovely wife, she’s the best.” As the wife got on the phone he quickly turned into the monster he was and barraged her with abuse and anger. Sound familiar? Don’t you think you could get through at least most of the day without having to talk to your spouse especially if there isn’t anything to talk about it? Narcissists get jealous and suspicious easily. Do you know why? Because they are guilty and they want to control you! It’s simple.
Have many of you fight darn near all night long with your spouse? They don’t want you to sleep, because its their way or no way and they simply don’t care about your well- being. Their goal is to break you down into unrecognizable pieces. Sorry if this seems harsh, but I don’t beat around the bush.
How many of you can’t go shopping after work without a huge interrogation about where you are going? How about some phone calls to interrupt your shopping? Can’t hang out with friends, but I bet they sure can. Right? What’s good for them is only good for them in their minds. Well, you are an adult and this is for the birds!
How many of you have turned your cell phone off to avoid his calls so you could have peace? Did you get yelled at for this? You aren’t a child anymore and you shouldn’t be treated like one. The essence is that the narcissist isn’t trusting of you because he can’t be trusted. Besides what better way to divert his bad behavior by being angry at you because you must be cheating and not shopping. See how this works? Not to mention his desperate need to control every aspect of your life. It’s manipulation.
Peace is not happening when you’re with a narcissist. You can’t sleep, you can’t work uninterrupted and sometimes you can’t even listen to music as you drive to work because he has to call just like Sarah’s experience in the novel The Chameleons Among Us.
Quieting your mind is imperative and I would recommend you do this daily. It’s healthy. Clarity will come and good decisions can be made. Whatever you need to do to find quietness, I say do it. Our bodies can’t keep up the pace forever. The toxic interactions daily will catch up to you and I don’t want to see you completely broken without life. Broken into unrecognizable pieces. This is the destructive path.
I’m off to have a few quiet moments to myself, because I can anytime I want to. I’m free and you can be also! 🙂