I love when I hear a story about a narcissist then I can write a blog post to share it with everyone. What comes to mind is the saying, “jack of all trades and master of none,” except that it really is the opposite when you are dealing with a narcissist. They are masters of plenty and it isn’t good.
Do you ever think to yourself, “what just happened?” How about, “why would she do that?” I bet like most people you give the benefit of the doubt and blow it off as a miscommunication, a misunderstanding, or how about just plain can’t believe that someone can be so destructive, deceitful, and unbelievable. I guess your reaction to situations all depends on where you are in your journey and how much knowledge you have. Let me tell you, the next time you question things sit back analyze and think it through, it might be beneficial for you to not give the benefit of the doubt to everyone. I know we want to, but not everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, because narcissists have agendas and the main one is to make you look bad and them superior. That is a basic defense mechanism and clear sign of a narcissist.
I recently was around a family and I had a heads up about a particular lady. I watched her from across the room as she smiled and acted friendly. I saw her directing people at the gathering, or I guess I should say bossing and controlling what people did minute by minute. There was a cake involved at this gathering that was made by an outside party. I’ll spare you the details so let me just say the cake was sabotaged to look bad for the magical moment of bringing out the cake. Everyone was caught off guard with this behavior which is easy because again most of us give people the benefit of the doubt. The narcissist didn’t have anything to do with getting the cake made so the attention wouldn’t be on her so why not sabotage it to look bad. Yes, it is hard to believe that someone would do this, but remember narcissists have to be the center of attention or get credit. They can’t stand when others look better than them and they will cross boundaries to manipulate the situation to make someone else look bad. The saving grace to this story is the cake was incredibly tasty and everyone loved it and the looks of it didn’t matter. Haha, a win for the good side right? Absolutely!
The bottom line is, narcissists will go out of their way to sabotage anything or anyone. If you have the knowledge, you can be prepared to speak up right when things happen and call out their behavior, which narcissists hate. Their behavior can strike you by surprise anytime and anywhere, so be aware and be on your toes when you know a narcissist is involved with any plans or any gatherings. If they aren’t the reason for the gathering, then be on guard to head off any sabotaging acts which is what they need to do to feel good about themselves. It’s a defense mechanism and they I believe enjoy watching people jump through extra hoops and walk on eggshells around them. Stop making excuses for them and start calling them out for what is real. I hope this makes sense and helps people understand narcissism a bit better.
Ilaya, Author of “The Chameleons Among Us”