Narcissists are experts at devaluing their victim. The devaluing can be hidden in their twisted reality that leaves the victim confused and wondering what just happened.
Many victims can’t believe that a person would be mean on purpose. This is why it’s so confusing to try to understand when the narcissist talks down to you. Many victims give it a pass by saying, “oh he’s tired,” or “he’s had a rough day,” or “he just needs some sleep,” or “he doesn’t really mean that,” or “he’s just kidding.” There are many ways to justify their actions because yes it doesn’t make sense to purposely demean another person. Besides, he’s supposed to love me, right?
Narcissists need to control and keep their victims jumping through hoops. They may have you thinking that you can’t live on your own or that you can’t go get a job. Of course they don’t want you to be independent from them because their control is lessened. They may talk about other women to make you jealous and feel inferior. The reality is that you will never satisfy their needs because they will constantly change them to keep the game going (Moving the Goal posts). You will end up running yourself ragged trying to please them. Confusion sets in when you realize that they truly don’t care and appreciate all of your efforts.
Does this resonate with anyone? Yes, it’s truly out of the norm and hard to understand. The man you once loved and thought was Mr. Perfect truly wants to use you to make himself feel good. It’s a game I chose to never play again with anyone. How horrible to leave victims feeling worthless and hopeless.
Do not feel ashamed or hopeless. If you are reading this and educating yourself that means you are on the path to a wonderful new beginning. It’s okay that you got fooled. A lot of us do!! It’s what you do from here that counts. As I look out my window at the blue sky I smile because I got away and I’m going to keep going. I’m dreaming about the rest of my life in wonderful anticipation. I want that for you!
Don’t be devalued. Value yourself enough to say “NO MORE!” Smile like I am right now. You can do this!