I don’t know about you, but I have a very logical mind. I like things to make sense and I learn by knowing why and how. I think it’s mostly a good thing, but maybe not when you’re dealing with a narcissist.
Interactions with a narcissist are quite complex especially to those who don’t know why they do what they do. Victims get confused because their actions and words don’t make sense. Their goal is to keep you jumping to try to understand them. Like chameleons they camouflage who they really are. A logical mind can’t make sense of irrational behavior and their mismatch of words and actions leads to much confusion and deception. Confusion is one of their goals, because a confused mind is one that’s an easy target for gaslighting. A confused mind is an easy target to create self-doubt and push the victim over the insecure ledge and down a spiraling road. Can you picture this?
Now, you would think reasoning is a good thing and maybe sometimes it is. It can bog down the mind with assumptions and speculations, however. When trying to figure out the actions and perhaps lies of a narcissist, reasoning isn’t in your favor. It can make you physically exhausted and obsessed about the why’s and how’s.
Are you trying to figure out the narcissist in your life? Well, the best thing to do is to educated yourself on how they live and survive. Learn about their tactics and you will get to the point of anticipating their cookie cutter behavior. This is the best way to deal with a narcissist’s behavior instead of reasoning. Reasoning should be left to “normal” situations and dealing with a narcissist is anything but normal.
I say quit exhausting yourself and know the signs, symptoms, tactics, and triggers. You will have less reasoning going on and just acceptance for what it is. Journal your experiences. You can try to speak up against their behavior, but just know it will probably launch them into a narcissistic rage. Choose a more peaceful mind and in this case, throw logic right out the window. You don’t need the head games and the deception. Don’t get wrapped up in being scared or frustrated because you can’t understand their behavior. There simply is no point to your efforts. Put your energy toward something that actually benefits your life.
A peaceful mind comes from not reasoning the actions of a narcissist. Do you need to control your mind today? I hope this sheds some light on why you’re frustrated and confused as you try to understand why they say they love you, but their actions show differently. Are you confused on why they want you back, after they did a huge smear campaign on you only to cover up their abuse to the outside world? I could go on and on with examples like this. I hope this clarifies what you need to do.
Have a wonderful day. If this post helped you, make a comment or email me. I would love to hear from you. Like the song says, “It’s going to be okay!”