Violence from a narcissist seems to be a common thread. What pushes their buttons and why do they feel so threatened?
Narcissists need to control and dominate life around them. They need to feel important. They need to be at the center of attention. Their needs are their priority over everyone else’s needs. It’s their way or violence perhaps.
As I continue to learn about this extremely disturbing personality disorder, I’ve learned that there is a spectrum of narcissistic behavior. Along with this spectrum is a spectrum of victims’ behavior. Some victims fight and stand up to their abuser and others succumb to every wish by continuously jumping through their hoops that they deliberately put before their so called naïve victims. Which is the correct behavior of the victim?
Standing up to the narcissist launches them into what’s called a “narcissistic rage.” They desperately need to feel important and to dominate the situation. It’s as if they turn into another person. Their face changes and they yell and intimidate sometimes with violence. Some victims say that their eyes appear darkened. It’s ugly for sure.
Other victims do as they say and they swallow their own opinions, ideas, and feelings. This is no way to live, but will guarantee you a lifetime of low self esteem and an oppressed life. You will hate life and will forget that life could be better. You will be brainwashed!
Whether you are a fighter or a pleaser, neither behavior leads to happiness. The abuse cycle will never change. Let me repeat that, it will never change!
Find your way out. Get a restraining order if needed and watch your back. After you leave, your safety is most vulnerable. Go after that better life. It’s out there! Life is too short. Be strong and educate yourself. Good luck!